Two Steps Backward, One Step Forward

Today has not gone much like I'd planned. Thus I've been thinking the following:

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit”; whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.” But now you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. James 4:13–16

Not that I have any really big plans, even, but life really is just a vapor and any plans we make can change at any time if God has other plans. I worked this morning and then stopped at BFY to swim the following:

• 350 warmup
• 8×25 drills
• 5×150@15sec 50 hard, 25 easy
• 4×50@20 sprint
• 8×25 kick
• 350 cooldown

Unfortunately, I felt awful in the pool. How, I wondered, could I have felt so great the previous couple days, swam so well, ridden well, and then get in the pool the next day and just not have it? I couldn't do nothing, especially since I was already in the pool. I just kept thinking that if anyone were there with me I probably would have done it all, and I know Will would have said, "We're here; you're going to do it." So I didn't do it all (wu, drills, kick only; 750 total), but I did something and worked hard. I also had the following to do (since I couldn't fit it in yesterday); 5 minutes of work:

• Push up on knees
• Curl (15-lb bar)
• Scap pull up
• Crate crunch
• Lunge
• 1-leg squat
• Standing ham
• Wall squat
  

And I thought my arms weren't working in the pool! I couldn't make it more than a minute during the push up, and I absolutely did not want to do it. I just couldn't work hard; I felt like I was pacing myself and hated that, I wanted to be able to work hard, so I decided to postpone that one. I did the curl because it required equipment. Then I stood for about 5 minutes in the sun, just standing there trying to collect myself.

It was so nice out that I went to the car wash. I didn't care that there were 12 cars ahead of me and it would take at least an hour (that was my initial estimate; 1:20 later I was getting my chance for a cleaning). I just needed to do something that wouldn't require thinking. So what did I do as soon as I put my car in park the first of 12 times? I got out and did my 5-minute lunge. Each wash was around 7 minutes, so it was perfect. 5 minutes of work, move my car, 5 minutes of work. I also did the standing ham. Then I spent some time reading. It was probably the most relaxing afternoon ever, and I came back home feeling refreshed.

Team Belladium was supposed to meet to climb tonight and I wanted to visit with Nancy, ride my bike, shower, eat supper, and make it to Nashville by 6. Nancy wasn't home, so I hopped on my bike earlier than I'd planned. I'll be honest: I got on my bike thinking, "I've only done a third of the swimming and a third of the isos, so if I do at least a third or half of this hour I'll be OK." After about 10 minutes, I decided that was an awful thought. Just because I failed to complete the previous two things didn't mean I had to fail at this one too. So I determined to do it. It was only an hour, at moderate aerobic pace, on the trainer, and I did it. One down.

I had yet to shower when 5 o'clock rolled around, Mom called for a quick chat, and I found out most of the other potential climbers wouldn't be able to make it. So no Climb Nashville tonight, and I couldn't be happier. Plus I made one strong mental step forward, even if I made two steps backward. If only I could always remember that this is what God made me for, that this is bringing Him glory, that I really do enjoy training and racing.

I also got some new shoes, and I'm so excited to run in them!

New shoes!