Where then does the appeal of temptation lie? It lies in the eyes and the imagination. One sees without perceiving; the other enjoys without realizing. (Ravi Zacharias; I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah; p. 80)I was just talking to my roommate (by roommate I mean Lana, with whom I was roommates our senior year in college and who is still one of my best friends) because she just turned 25 and I will in 3 months. I asked her how she was, and she responded, "Still single." I know how she's feeling. I don't know many girls who, at 16, don't think that they'll be married directly out of college (or while still in college). I, too, thought I'd have 2 years of marriage under my belt by now, but God has had other plans.
As much as I try, I haven't been able to rid myself of the desire to be married, to support someone else in his endeavors, to love another freely, and to be loved by the same. And yet, God has not given me that gift yet. But He has given me the gift of singleness, and I truly am grateful. I can do so much that I think would take a lot of time out of building another life-long relationship. For instance: Babysitting multiple weekends in a row, helping out the parents and spending time with their kids. Running and riding on a whim. Reading any and every book I choose.
But what's my role as a supporter?
I know (I think!) what it is that is holding me back. God, I want to be free to be a slave to You, to do Your will, to honor and glorify You. I pray that when You bless me, I will put it to good use. God, help me to control and gain mastery over my imagination. Thank You for waking me up from dreams, for bringing scripture and songs to my mind so I can focus on You, for loving me in my failures, and for always being faithful when I'm faithless. Give me a heart for the lost and a desire to share Your love and salvation. Flow out of me, that You may be what defines me no matter what.