Yesterday I had some strange (or seemingly strange) dreams. I talked to Will about them and even though they were pretty cool dreams, I left the conversation kind of upset. I'm not sure why. I know God can reveal Himself and His will through dreams, but I often find myself wondering and not always trusting. That's kinda where I was at the end of this conversation. I mean, I know God is who He says He is and I know that Jesus came to give His life for us so that we can live with Him forever, and I know that God is sovereign and in complete control, yet I struggle with trusting His plan. I wish this weren't the case, but it definitely is and it's something that God's been working on my heart about over the last couple weeks and months. I wish I could sit back and trust, but I always feel like I have to be doing something to help Him out. That's actually laughable now that I see it in writing. I mean, even by worrying I can't add a year to my life or an inch to my height—the only thing that really accomplishes is gray hair.
Friday, September 17, 2010
After spending the morning at work getting a bit done and also getting a bit frustrated with Adobe InDesign, I went out and ran a couple errands, did isos (5 on, 5 off thru 40, pull up, curl, crunch, lunge, standing ham), spent some time in the kitchen, and rode my bike. It was supposed to be just a quick spin, but it ended up being a little quicker than I'd intended. I had planned to relax and my legs just wanted to move. My average for the 18 miles was 18mph. Someday I'll be able to do this route in 20+, but not today.