Along with keeping training logs, I've tried to use this to track my thoughts—what's going on in my head not only while training but also while just living. This weekend, I had lots of time to think and pray and work through some things in my heart that God has brought into the light. I'm so grateful for His revealing them to me—I wouldn't see them otherwise. "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings." Jeremiah 17:9–10
And because God searches my heart, and knows what's in it, and reveals it, and tests it, I have hope—not in myself or my ability to change myself (because He knows I can't do it myself), but in Jesus, who alone is able to change hearts.
"Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit." Ezekiel 18:31 "Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. Then you shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; you shall be My people, and I will be your God." Ezekiel 36:25–28
"As for you, [Kailin], know the God of your father, and serve Him with a loyal heart and with a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever." 1 Chronicles 28:9. God's word is full of so much hope!
Today was a rest day, hence all the time to think. The rest of the week will probably be as much of a rest week as I can handle; I am really struggling to recover, feeling tired and frustrated with my workouts and exhausted pretty much perpetually.